There are six types of troublesome thinking, or triggers, that cause people to self-sabotage. To address them, you need to first identify them. We’ll do a quick exercise for that, but first, you’ll need to remember these terms and what they mean.
Overgeneralizing/catastrophizing means taking one fact and jumping to conclusions, usually bad ones. For example, have you ever thought a friend was upset with you simply because they hadn’t returned a text?
Shoulds-based thinking means relying too much on your own rules and expectations about how things should go. Like that friend you texted should have gotten back to you by now, regardless of what they may have going on.
Black-and-white thinking allows for only two possibilities and no in-between. Perhaps a colleague passed you in the hallway without greeting you, so you firmly conclude they’re a rude person.
Mind reading is simply thinking you actually know the thoughts or intentions of others. Maybe you didn’t get a promotion and you think that’s because your boss doesn’t care about your efforts.
Discounting the positive usually plays out in downplaying what’s good about yourself or things you’ve done. For instance, have you ever turned down a compliment instead of just giving a simple “Thank you?”
Personalization refers to any thinking in which you measure yourself against other people. In other words, when was the last time you scrolled social media?
Okay, we know that’s a lot of causes of self-sabotage, so here’s the exercise we promised you:
Break up your next 24 waking hours into four equally spaced blocks of time and set an alert for each. When the alarm sounds, grab a pen and jot down what’s on your mind. After you complete the fourth note, look back at all you wrote. Consider each thought within the context of the six types of thinking we just covered. Do any of your thoughts align with them? You can do this exercise over several days to spot triggers and look for repeat offenders to see which ones are affecting you the most.